How much truth is good for a human beeing? How much truth is good for you and me?

I miss you. - how many times should I tell you this until you believe me? And how many times does it take until you think I'm telling you the truth?
But what is the truth? The sentence itself? I don't think so. The truth is the feeling I have got while telling you Hey! I'm still missing you!.
But do we like the naked truth? I don't know.

I think the truth can hurt us as long as we have got emotions/feelings with it. I think some sentences I cannot say as often as I would like to say: I like you very much and I don't want to lose you.

But at some point I should only shut up and keep waiting. I know you are worth it.

Hello everybody out there. Some minutes ago my last lecture this year finished. So university is out for two weeks and I have got some free time to relax, to do some personal projects and read some books about the topics we have got at university now.

Furthermore there will be christmas in three days and I'll try to enjoy this time together with my family and my friends. I hope you will have got a lot of fun with the last days in this year and be prosper.

I wish you all the best and a very good start into the year 2007!

Today I feel like I should change something the web know about me...
I cancel using the following sites:

• harzflirt.de
• harzlove.flirtcenter.net
• aooa.de

Furthermore I skip using the keyword Single on some sites... please don't ask why I do so. I think it's the best way.

Yesterday I went after meal together with MuFFin into the BC Cafe. It was a nice atmosphere. There weren't too many people, there were candles and the places where you can sit on very were soft and awesome.

I had got a hot chocolate and MuFFin a coffee. Short time later our Captain joins us and we had got a little discussion about everything and how the whole world works. :-)

It was very good and the right place simply to relax and cool down - think about everything but the girls - and enjoy your life. The music they played was something like Trance or ...

Enjoy your day and have a lot of fun!

It was a wonderful night. I was with Astrid in the bc club and they played there minimalist music - very electronic. The sound was nice and the vibes minimal.

But there was some space for a conversation, too. The places where you could sit on were very cool and fit my best imaginations.

I only want to thank Astrid for that great evening. Thanks that you are there for me all the time... I like you very much.

I don't know if you know, but I work for the FeM on a central logserver. It's not a huge project. I should realise that every server/client at the FeM net could log on that logserver. Furthermore the logserver should look into the log files and then warn the admin, if him's server/client did strange things.

At some time I compared this logserver and a girlfriend. I figured out that Florian seted up a Debian virtual machine in a few days. It runs very stable, it's connectable all the time and I have got a lot of fun with it.
But what about a girlfriend?

You need a lot of time to find a girl and you never know if she's the right one. Then the girl isn't connectable all the time by you, and sometimes you will have got a huge delay in her responses. Furthermore the relationship to her can change very fast...

I prefer the logserver this time. ;-)

I am a geek who walks through the real life since some weeks. It wasn't a bad feeling and some people there were really nice and it was sometimes very awesome. But I've should noticed that I am not mainstream, so I shouldn't be there (so often at least).

These days a lot of people hit me with their prejudices and tell me that I get on their nerves. Really painful.

I believe I need some distance.

In these days I hate prejudices of computer science. Who are computer scientists? Are they humans like you? Of course! So why do the mass think that we are crazy people, who never go out and only sit down in a dark room and program senseless stuff which is only used by other computer scientists? That's simply not true.

Do we have got less friends than everybody else? Maybe. But is that the way you should judge about a human being? Is a computer scientist less worth to be loved?

Maybe the freaks are crazy and totally mad, maybe the nerds have got less social contacts - maybe... But don't list our bad faces. What can we do for you? And, even more important, what can you do for us?

So please stop laughing at us, stop whispering, don't quarrel with us about our studies or about our philosophies. Accept us as normal human beings. And forget your prejudices...

Sometimes you might think that you know somebody. She was only there. You talked to her but nothing else. It was only fun with her because you believe nobody else could understand you like she does.

She is different from everything else. She's not mainstream. She is... unique.

And then she is all around you. You go out with her and it is nice. You talked to her and think the world stands still.

I never felt that friendship is so import like right now. I will never miss her.

I found an interesting photo today on the website of the local club here in my town. You can see on the photo the girl I talked several times in this blog.

She is the right one - . o O (the right one for me? *gg*). She is very sexy, lovely and sweet, I really missed her - somehow. :-/

I believe in her nevertheless. Please go your way and be successful! See you in the real world, too, Melanie!

Four years ago the world lose a wonderful person.

Today it's a day of silence and grief.
You will be always around us and we will always take you in our hearts and think of you.

"Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death.
When a life has been lived completely honestly,
completely successfully, or just completely,
the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark
is a smile."
  --  Julie Burchill

Playing MPEG stream from James Blunt - Tears And Rain.mp3 ...

Sometimes I think my (random) player knows what I feel and what I am thinking about.

Today a very good friend of mine leaves the query (forever) because he must skip the contact with me. He was forced to go an other way then I'm going to go. But he has got the energy and power to manage this all.

I believe in him and wish him all the best with this blog entry. I will never forget you, too! See you later - in the real world! Have a great time!

Playing MPEG stream from Juli - Geile Zeit.mp3 ...

Somebody asked me some time ago what my wishes are currently. I told her that I don't know, but that wasn't what I feel everyday.
I know that I am a geek and I know that I should live with some features and bugs in my life (where every bug is a feature, I believe).
But if I can have a wish, I wouldn't like a compromise between a life as a mainstreamer and/or geek.

If I've got a wish, I would like to find someday someboday (especially a girl), which understand me and my ideology/religion - who respects me like I will always respect her - and who loves me as much as I will always love her. I know that I am an idiot to believe that such girl will ever meet me...
But if you haven't got any dreams and wishes, you will never know what you are looking for if you ever will meet "Mrs Right".

I believe in romantic and the "unconditional/real love". Call me a fool, but I think that this is really possible.

English summery: I wasn't able to connect during the last days, because of an error of the T-Com (where I owned my aDSL). The German entry only includes some more facts why this happends. Sorry for the inconvience.

Ich bekam vor ein paar Wochen einen Anruf eines Telekom-Mitarbeiters, der mich fragte, ob ich meine DSL-1000-Leitung auf eine 2000 erhöhen wolle und eine Ersparnis im T-Online-Tarif bekommen möchte; damit würde ich dann angeblich kostengünstiger surfen können. Ich wollte jediglich ein Angebot haben und wies den Mitarbeiten explizit an nichts zu verändern an meinen Daten.

Ein paar Tage später bekam ich eine Auftragsbestätigung und eine Kündigung zugestellt. Da ich nachrechnete und feststellte das beides nicht in meinem Interesse lag, rief ich bei entsprechender Nummer an, lies mich weitervermitteln, ... und stornierte beides.

Am Montag dann hatte ich ein paar Probleme mit Modem hangup bis schliesslich um 14:00 MESZ mein Modem mit einer roten Lampe die Synkronisation aufgab. Mein Anruf bei der Störungsstelle brachte mich zur Weißglut: "Ihre Leitung wurde doch heute abgeschaltet. Eine Kündigung liegt uns vor."

Kündigung? Von mir? Ohne meine Unterschrift?
Die nette Frau von der Störungsstelle wollte sich drum bemühen, dass meine Leitung innerhalb eines Tages wieder bestehen würde. Da dies offensichtlich nicht der Fall war bemühte ich weiter die Störungsstelle, die Rechnungsstelle und den Vetrieb, am Dienstag. Man wollte mich schliesslich wieder ans Netz anschliessen - Mittwoch.

Das sind DREI Tage ohne Internet - unverschuldet! Für den Neuanschluss will die T-Com natürlich die knapp 100 EUR Neu-Einrichtungsgebühr von mir erstattet bekommen - obwohl ich für die Kündigung nichts konnte!

Fast selbstverständlich erklärte man mir dann, dass es Mittwoch nicht gehen würde und Donnerstag hieß es plötzlich es sei T-Coms Fehler, und es sollte schnellst möglich geschaltet werden. Als ich dann um 11:00 MESZ wiedermal mit der Störungsstelle sprach, schickten sie dann (endlich) einen Aussendienstmitarbeiter los, so dass um 13:00 MEZS wieder mein Internet ansprang.

*sigh*

Yesterday I searched at least two dating portals for some nice girls in the near of my town. It is very interesting what people you find there. Most of the girls hate reading a book, but have got a lot of fun with shopping and hang out with their friends. Also many of them do some sports in their freetime, and, of course go to parties.

I thought the mass will meet each other on parties or (in general) in real life. Why do they need dating portals? Some of the girls really look sweet and sexy, but I don't think that a geek could make them happy...

I searched (I know, you shouldn't search) for a girl which understand my ideology and which has got a good knowledge, no matter if she doesn't look like the mainstream.

But there exists also dating portals for geeks. The people (girls? *g*) you find there aren't in your area in the worse case....

Everything isn't as easy as possible, but hey, life's still going on. So give your best and keep trying!